Dating is such a common thing to do that we don’t really think about how we do it. There is actually a right and a wrong way to date for a believer. Besides the basic no sex standard, I wasn’t sure what else believers did or didn’t do when they were dating. When I was single I picked up the tape series I mentioned last week by Taffi Dollar and remembered a couple of principles that made a lot of sense. There were two that stuck with me. The first being that dating does not mean you spend a lot of time alone with your interest during the courting period. Doing so sets you up for temptation to rear it’s ugly head. It is so much harder to get out of a tempting situation than it is to avoid one altogether. Godly dating should be done in more public places and group settings. This way you get to know the individual. Most people put on their best face for you during this dating period. The more friends who can share what they have observed in the guy helps to form a fuller picture of him. You will want to observe how he interacts with his friends, your friends, etc.
The second principle that stuck with me was that you are not just dating a person, you are dating their family. Spend time getting to know the guys family. He should also spend time around your family. This time will help you observe family dynamics, communication patterns, spiritual beliefs, etc. His family will likely be around if he becomes your life partner. Also, your family’s perceptions of your guy can be invaluable. They probably know you better than anyone and love you like no one else. Your family can assist you in making the second most important decision you will make in life when the time comes. (I’m referring to accepting his proposal if you missed that!)
Earlier I talked about the no sex standard. This is such a foundational principle for believers that I would like to expound on it a bit more. I have found that we Christians are having as much sex or more sex than non-believers. It is not hard to figure out why. God created us to be sexual beings. That is why it is so important to put proper boundaries in place during the dating period. Ed Young from Ed Young ministries preached a message dealing with this topic that was televised in November 2009. I took notes on it and kept them so I would remember that how I dated was very crucial to my spiritual walk. The message was titled the “Sexual Revolution.” You can look it up at edyoung.com. The main points of the message were:
- You are not to be naked before the marriage bed with your boyfriend or fiancé.
- Sex outside of marriage is unnatural
- Sex affects your soul and mind
- I Thessalonians 4:3-8 tells us that God’s will for us is to be sanctified and set apart which requires us to control our body in a holy and honorable way
- Date only like minded people who have the same vision and values about sex
- God wants to save us from abuse and confusion
- God wants us to treasure sex, honor sex, walk in purity, freedom and holiness
This will be a new way of dating for some of you. It will be worth it in the end. Ed Young says that every time God tells us to make a radical decision, He will make us awesomely happy and we are just one step away from that blessing.
Faith Step #4
- Make sure you have received your “yes” from God about your mate
- Be certain you are ready to receive this gift from God
- Find a prayer partner you trust with the personal details of your life
- Purchase The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
Until next week, happy dating Gods Way
Peace be with you…
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