For the Single Ladies #5

After I knew for certain to whom God had giving me as a wife, I was lead to purchase Stormie Omartians Power of a Praying Wife.  I was then lead to get a prayer partner with whom I could pray and believe for my mate.  My prayer partner was in a similar situation in that she knew to whom she was to marry as well.  We prayed nightly for our spouses from the prayers in the book.  We prayed for 30 days, fasted and spent a lot of time in the presence of God.  We said different prayers each night.  Some of them became nightly prayers to cover our husbands.  Once the 30 days were up we repeated the prayers until we were instructed by God to take another step.  My prayer partner and I prayed the same prayers in the book together each night.  However, during this process, it became clear that our faith walks were in different areas for our husbands.  You will find that what you need to walk through with your mate will be different than what others have to deal with in their relationships.  This is where you will live by your daily word from God.  God’s personal revelations to you about what is happening with your mate, how you are to respond and when you are to act will be vital to the success of your relationship.  You may encounter highs and lows as you navigate through this stage.  Be ready.  Translation:  Be prayed up!

It may seem weird to pray for a man you are not married to in the natural realm as if he is your husband.  But, nothing happens in the natural realm that has not already happened in the spiritual realm.  If God has told you this person is your spouse, the marriage has already taken place in the spirit.  You are waiting for it to manifest itself in the natural realm.  This knowledge is not for you to get ahead of yourself.  Until you say “I do” in the natural realm, you are not to engage in marital relations.

Your prayer and worship time during this phase of the process will become intense and beautiful.  It will be the last days that you are able to just focus on your relationship with your heavenly father.  Once you are married, you have to add another relationship to the daily prayer time.  Please do not do what I did.  Do not stop your daily time with God once you receive the gift God has for you.  I’ve heard it said many times by women who have been married for any length of time that what you do to get a man is what you’ll have to do to keep him.  This is true for your prayer life and the health of your marriage relationship.  If you had to pray and spend time in the presence of God to get him, you have to do the same to keep him.  Maybe even more than before because now you know about all of his flaws!

One important thing to remember is that your prayers are not meant to control your mate or God.  Your prayers are meant to move all of heaven and earth to act in your favor.  To bring about God’s intended outcome.  You have decided to align your will with His and your prayers help keep you on track.  Your worship time helps you stay in tune with God and aware of what He wants for you.  Never give this up.  Your relationship depends on it not to mention your personal joy.

Keep in mind this process is not magic.  It is a faith walk.  Do you believe and trust that God will send you a mate?  Do you have faith in how God asks you to relate to this man while you are yet to marry?  Are you able to put aside what the world says and do what God says no matter what it looks like?  If so, you will be successful in your faith walk.  Enjoy the process and your final single days!

Peace be with you…

India

For the Single Ladies #4

Dating is such a common thing to do that we don’t really think about how we do it. There is actually a right and a wrong way to date for a believer. Besides the basic no sex standard, I wasn’t sure what else believers did or didn’t do when they were dating. When I was single I picked up the tape series I mentioned last week by Taffi Dollar and remembered a couple of principles that made a lot of sense. There were two that stuck with me. The first being that dating does not mean you spend a lot of time alone with your interest during the courting period. Doing so sets you up for temptation to rear it’s ugly head. It is so much harder to get out of a tempting situation than it is to avoid one altogether. Godly dating should be done in more public places and group settings. This way you get to know the individual. Most people put on their best face for you during this dating period. The more friends who can share what they have observed in the guy helps to form a fuller picture of him. You will want to observe how he interacts with his friends, your friends, etc.

 

The second principle that stuck with me was that you are not just dating a person, you are dating their family. Spend time getting to know the guys family. He should also spend time around your family. This time will help you observe family dynamics, communication patterns, spiritual beliefs, etc. His family will likely be around if he becomes your life partner. Also, your family’s perceptions of your guy can be invaluable. They probably know you better than anyone and love you like no one else. Your family can assist you in making the second most important decision you will make in life when the time comes. (I’m referring to accepting his proposal if you missed that!)

Earlier I talked about the no sex standard. This is such a foundational principle for believers that I would like to expound on it a bit more. I have found that we Christians are having as much sex or more sex than non-believers. It is not hard to figure out why. God created us to be sexual beings. That is why it is so important to put proper boundaries in place during the dating period. Ed Young from Ed Young ministries preached a message dealing with this topic that was televised in November 2009. I took notes on it and kept them so I would remember that how I dated was very crucial to my spiritual walk. The message was titled the “Sexual Revolution.” You can look it up at edyoung.com. The main points of the message were: 

• You are not to be naked before the marriage bed with your boyfriend or fiancé.
• Sex outside of marriage is unnatural
• Sex affects your soul and mind
• I Thessalonians 4:3-8 tells us that God’s will for us is to be sanctified and set apart which requires us to control our body in a holy and honorable way
• Date only like minded people who have the same vision and values about sex
• God wants to save us from abuse and confusion
• God wants us to treasure sex, honor sex, walk in purity, freedom and holiness

   

This will be a new way of dating for some of you. It will be worth it in the end. Ed Young says that every time God tells us to make a radical decision, He will make us awesomely happy and we are just one step away from that blessing.

 

Faith Step #4

   

• Make sure you have received your “yes” from God about your mate
• Be certain you are ready to receive this gift from God
• Find a prayer partner you trust with the personal details of your life
• Purchase The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian

Until next week, happy dating Gods Way!

 

Peace be with you…

India

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Before I actually gave birth I considered myself a mother.  The one thing I could not figure out was why no one else did.  I still remember Mother’s Day 2005.  A family member handed out Mother’s Day cards to all the mothers gathered at my Aunt Mom and Uncle Dad’s home.  All the women opened their cards and I was waiting for mine when I was told that I did not get a card because I was not a mother.  I cried like a baby on my Aunt Mom’s shoulder that day.  I will always love her for the love she showed me in that moment.  That was and is a true mom. 

Even after I married and became a mother of a precious little boy, others still refused to recognize me as a mother.  But, I knew I was a mother and did not care if anyone else accepted it. You see what I learned, later in life, is that it is not the giving birth or adoption or fostering of a child or marriage that makes one a mother.  It is the spirit with which one loves another.  Just because someone has not giving birth to a child does not mean they are not a mother.  In fact, I have had several mothers throughout my life.  Only one of them actually gave birth to me.  And, some of them have not been women at all.  They have been men who have a mother’s love. 

I want to take this Mother’s Day to say thank you and I love you to those gracious people.  This message is to all those who, while you have no children you call all those with out a mother yours.  You love us and care for us. You fill in where our mothers can not.  You teach us and show us how to love as only a mother can.  You are special.  You are a gift from God.  Your spirit is the true reason for this day.  You are love personified.  If God Himself came off His throne to walk and love on this earth, He would look like you.

Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Love,

India

For the Single Ladies #3

As I was preparing for my mate, the Lord required me to bring an end to all relationships with males who thought I might date them.  I am speaking about males who either were interested in me or I was interested in them.  I had to let any male from my past know that I was not an option for them.  He is not talking about calling up guys out of the blue and telling them to get lost.  NO.  He is talking about not leading anyone on thinking he might be the one.  If God has not told you he is the one to marry, stop any courting type relationship immediately.  You won’t have to search for these guys.  Some of them will seek you out when you least expect it.  Be prepared.  See this as an opportunity to seek God for direction.  If He tells you “no”, bring closure to that relationship.  If He tells you “yes”, you’re on to the next step.

While you wait to hear “yes” from God, study and live the lady walk.  Get ready to receive your mate.  This may not happen on your timetable.  It will be on God’s schedule.  And, believe it or not, God’s schedule is based on you.  When He sees you are getting in position to receive the gift He has for you, then He can begin the process for you.  If you are not in position, the process can not begin or you will miss the guy when he comes.  You will be looking to the left when you should be looking to the right.  Pay attention to the Spirit.  He will lead you every step of the way.

Remember, you can’t receive the man who is to become your spouse when someone else is in the way.  Steve Harvey was on TBN talking about how he was expecting to get this car he had been wanting for a while.  He talked about cleaning out the garage and making space for the new car.  He had an illustration of the garage cluttered then sitting empty until he brought his new car home.  Steve Harvey said he had to prepare the garage for his new car and had to get rid of what was taking up its place.   Otherwise, he would not have had room enough to receive the new car.  You will have to go through the same process to be ready for your mate. 

Faith Step #3

• Learn about Godly Dating
• Study the difference between dating God’s way and dating the world’s way
• Which form of dating would a lady choose? 

Taffi Dollar has a tape series on Dating God’s Way.  I listened to it years ago.  I think it will be a refreshing look at a topic we all think we know how to do.  But, do we know how to do it God’s way?  This is a serious question that you need to answer.

Peace be with you…

India