A New Year

More pre-blog posts.

PREVIOUSLY INKED...

January 12, 2011 5:24 pm

I don’t make new years resolutions.  I do, however, make commitments to do something new in my life.  Last year I knew I wanted to be married and have a baby.  I prayed, fasted and waited on God.  I did not know how God was going to fix the relationship I had nearly ruined, but I trusted him to do just that.  And being the God He is, He did.  I married the love of my life and we became pregnant within weeks of saying “I do.” 

This year I am making a commitment to trust God, period.  I find that as I move through life I try to manage my own life a little too much.  Okay, that’s a pretty way of saying I try to control every aspect of my life to the point of exhaustion.  My husband has tried to tell me this on many occasions.  Now, I believe him.  Life is so fleeting.  This year I’m going to keep moving forward with what I believe God wants me to do and leave the outcome to Him.  Wow, I think I just lost 10 pounds!  My shoulders have even relaxed! 

I am also going to remember, honor and go after my previous dreams and revelations.  After getting married, I really felt at a lost as to how to be a wife and still engage in all the things I used to do pre-marriage.  Balancing this new role in my life left me feeling really anxious because I had no idea what my husband expected from me.  Now that we have had many “discussions” ;) on the topic, I think I have a pretty good understanding of what he needs from me.  I feel much more confident in our relationship with this knowledge.  I can now concentrate on my first love…my relationship with my creator, without guilt.  I don’t know if any other women have experienced this, but my husband used to want me home and seem bothered by my busy schedule.  I would feel so guilty leaving him to go do ministry.  I felt conflicted.  It came to the point where I asked God to just give me some time.  Actually, it was an internal knowing that God was giving me some time to adjust.  I so thank Him for that time.  He loves me.

So, I have so many pursuits!  First, I wanted to start a blog and here it is.  It’s kind of scary jotting down your thoughts and knowing others will read them.  I mean they might judge you harshly for them and who wants that??  It’s too late for that right, no turning back now.  You know what, turn back?  I don’t really want to.

Peace be with you...

Good Job

A pre-blog post.

PREVIOUSLY INKED...

January 8, 2011 8:25 pm

Isaac is feeling better today.  He has his very first cold.  According to the doc, I’ve “done a good job” taking care of him.  I must admit, it makes me feel good to hear the doc say those words.  I haven’t felt like I’ve been doing such a good job in his first weeks of life outside the womb. 

It has been really hard for me to find a rhythm.  I have so many people that offer their support and words of wisdom.  I do appreciate their kindness it’s just that sometimes it makes me feel worse.  My mothering instincts don’t seem to know what to do sometimes and talking about it just plain sucks. 

I finally told my husband and mother-in-law how I was feeling.  They both just looked at me.  Does that mean they agree?  Am I a sucky new mom?  I wish they had said something like, “you’re doing a good job.”  They didn’t.  I guess I’ll just have to keep doing what I’m doing.  Isaac seems content when he’s not screaming at the top of his lungs.  What should my barometer be?  How will I know if I’m doing a good job?  Should Isaac or other people’s opinions be the deciding factor?  For now, I’m going to go with Isaac.  I think he’s a happy baby most times.  And, I think I have something to do with that.

Peace be with you...

New Mommy

I began inking my thoughts prior to starting my blog.  I'd like to share my pre-blog posts.  So, I will be posting them as my next few blogs.  Here you go.

PREVIOUSLY INKED...

January 6, 2011 3:00 pm

My son is 18 days old today.  I look at him in awe.  I am so blessed to have him.  I don’t think I ever really thought I would give birth to a child.  But, I did.  That was one heck of an experience.  I read all about what happens during birth, watched tv shows on birth, went to the customary birthing class and surveyed every woman willing to talk to me about her birth experience and still I was not prepared for all the emotions of it.

I was scared and even petrified by some aspects.  I prayed and let God decide how everything would go.  I figured He knew what was best for me and my baby.  Today I hold a very squirmy, healthy little boy in my arms.  His name is Isaac and he is wonderful.  I haven’t figure out what makes him tick yet, but I love being his mom.

Peace be with you...

New Blogger

I did it!  Finally, I did it! 

I've wanted to start a blog since I started reading a blog, purely by accident, a few months ago.  I was impressed by the ability to share your thoughts with others, get their feedback and continue this dialogue forever-if you wanted.  As with many things in my life, like house cleaning, I procrastinated.  Then, I watched the movie Julie and Julia a few weeks ago.  I watched this movie over and over.  I just loved it.  Amy Adams character, Julie, reminded me of a piece of my personality.  Not all of me, mind you, just a sliver of who I am.  Anyway, after watching this movie I decided I would start my own blog.  I had no idea how to do it so I learned something from the movie.  That and I learned that I just adore Julia Childs--at least the one portrayed in the movie.  What a lady.

So, here I am, starting my own blog.  It is exciting and a bit nerve-wracking.  I mean people I don't know might end up reading my thoughts.  What will they think of me?  I have no idea, but if anyone ever does read this blog, I will be honored.

Okay, so I'm off.  I 've got to feed my son.  His name is Isaac.  You'll hear lots more about my family I assure you. Oh and please forgive me now for any mistakes in grammar, spelling, etc.  I was not an english major  :).

Peace be with you...